TO LOVE :
Afternoon Delight - Starland Vocal Band
This kooky crew out of Washington DC ruled radio waves throughout the US during the Summer of 1976. This country folksy little ode to afternoon whoopsy sounds like Peter Paul & Mary on viagra. Sexy slide guitar, perfectly executed vocal harmonies, it all conjures images of a sun drenched meadow, floating blossoms and some chick with long blonde hair and a middle parting running down a hill wearing a transparent peasant skirt. Or maybe that’s just me.
Once, Twice, Three Times A Lady – Lionel Ritchie
The first massive hit for the Commodores, Three Times A Lady spent more than 5 months in the charts on its release in 1978. And you gotta love it. Alas, soon after, Lionel went solo, grew a greasy power-perm and wrote the insidiously cheesy Hallo with a video featuring a blind girl making a clay head that looks just like him, moustache and all.
Indiana Wants Me - R. Dean Taylor
R. Dean Taylor is best known for his underground Northern Soul classic Ghost In My House and for this super slice of sentimentality. Starts off with wailing police sirens, then Taylor spins his tale of heartbreak - basically he kills a man who cussed his wife “if ever a man needed dying, he did.” he cries in anguish Not that he’s overreacting or anything. The song ends with sirens and shotgun blasts as the Indiana police track him down and blow him away. A classic.
TO HATE :
Achy Breaky Heart – Billy Ray Cyrus
Cyrus was in the vanguard of the New Country movement in the 90’s, paving the way for the likes of Shania Twain & Faith Hill’s crossover successes. Doesn’t change the fact that he looked like a very camp lumberjack and sported the mother of all mullets. Or that nails on blackboard are preferable to listening to this song.
I’d Do Anything For Love – Meatloaf
Running in at 7.58, this is the longest #1 hit ever (both in the US & UK) and spent 7 weeks in the UK’s top slot back in ‘93. By the end of the year, it had made most ‘worst of’ lists - for some reason it really unleashed latent hatred in the public. Meat didn’t care though. Perhaps he knew his finest moment was soon to come as the sentimental bloke with man-boobs in Fight Club.
Everything I Do – Bryan Adams
Indelibly imprinted in the collective unconscious of the entire human race together with an image of Elizabeth Mastrantonio blowing in Kevin Costner’s ear as he lets loose an arrow somewhere in Sherwood Forest. Ewww.
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